public art

The ancient planning chairman

said that they should start

with the nutter of a Druid

with his local public art


the Druid had been there before

and some committee men he knew

so his second circular installation art

 he named the thing O2


he even brought a model

for comment and inspection

but he didn't see much enthusiasm

so suspected a rejection


this art he said is for display

for culture and enjoyment

and all the stones needed

will increase local employment


the committee began to warm at this

but with health and safety fears

demanded workers had stone capped sandals

and protection for the ears


the Druid saw some interest

curiosity had won

so he explained the building aim

and what was to be done


stone quarried from far and wide

would be brought to the site

then placed in a circle

before standing them upright


then when they were quit steady

and did not need a prop

the remaining quarried stones

would be placed on top


from fifty thousand oxen

they would take the hide

stitched together it would cover

everything inside


the Druid liked it to a large pimple

or and inflated female breast

more a like large carbuncle 

said a planner less impressed


the large capping stones

was a clear health and safety hitch

so the Druid suggest he could dig

a safe excluding ditch


Sadly the plans were past

and after the opening ceremony

there was a large hole in the funding

and the canopy


so when the gales blew from the sea

as happens this time of year

the canopy blew clean away

and some stones disappeared


now O2 is called Stonehenge

an architectural monstrosity

but to us mere modern mortals

an ancient curiosity

GM Beans

I use to love my baked beans
and gobbled them with glee
until a nutter in a white coat
modified genetically

he gave the pod a fluffy goat
and large doleful eyes
they made each pod bigger
about small dog size

if you touch the pod 
you can hear it purr
or it will give a bark
if that's what you prefer

it cries when it gets too wet
and shouts when too dry
and shakes with joy and merriment
when fertilizer you apply

when it comes to harvest time
and the bean is mature
you have to cut them quickly
or their curses you'll endure

I've baked beans in the cupboard
and I know it's just a dream
I still shake before I open them
to check if there's a scream