farmers dating site

Jim brown the farmers son

can no longer go to town

so little chance of romance

or any future farmer Brown


Told to use the internet

but do it right

don't get fooled by scammer

on the internet dating site


He found a site, he liked the look

for rural country folk

but all the girls were townies

thought farming was a joke



then he saw a profile

the photograph concealed

said she had a horse

and a twenty acre field


said she liked book keeping

just love farm accounts

said she wants a helping hand

when from her horse dismounts



he wrote he'd like to meet her

if she has no other takers

and could she sent a photograph

of the twenty acres

fishing

In my distant childhood

behind my dad I trod

heading for the local stream

with a fishing rod


Never really caught much

but not a total disgrace

bringing home the minnow

Perch, Rudd, and Dace


time to hunter gather

now with covid austerity

break out the old fishing rod

and get a fish for tea


trekking up and down the stream

to the spot of my past

time to show my prowess

with a giant cast


the cast was disappointing

but it was my first try

then I remembered those wise words

to cast long you must cast high


each cast getting higher

hook arcing through the sky

tonight's tasty fish supper

will be starling and magpie

hill farmers prayer

Oh dear lord its me the farmer

down on my knees to pray

this time its not the weather

but I have some bills to pay


bills for the corn merchant

the banks overdraft demand

first it's BEXIT then it's Covid

they don't seem to understand


Sadly I know I that I must

send some stock off for slaughter

the lamb is now fully grown

the one owned by my daughter


the government has helped others

getting paid to do nowt all day

busy harvesting and bailing

only rain will cause delay


so please help this uphill farmer

until the wool cheque is in my hand

I may only put pennies in the collection

but I really need a couple of grand

Teviot smoke house

We are going to miss the smiles

the helpful cheerie folk

the cafe, the water gardens

and the products that you smoke




you were a welcome day out

for tourist and the old

the walk along the river bank

and warm cafe when it's cold




for all the staff and families

that did more than just serve

we hope have some good luck

and the happiness you deserve