ken

the feminist are pleased with Barbie
different colour shape and size
but there is still just one Ken
that they can idolise

there is even Ken the oil rich Sheikh
with Barbie in a burka
Ken the Merchant banker
sales rep, and factory worker

ken with car and caravan
Ken with car and boat
No ken with pitch folk in hand
mucking out the goat

So where is the Farming Ken
in clarty wellie boots
with a mobile phone in the top pocket
of his John Deere boiler suit

there's just Ken the rich important chap
a sophisticated charmer
no Ken up to his eyes in debt
as a struggling hill farmer

a crofters prayer

may it stop raining
and there be no drought
let all the seed I planted
germinate and sprout
and may there not be any
slugs and snails about

may feet not get foot rot
overgrown or scold
may all the bucks and cockerels
do as they're bloody told
and may I make a profit
before I'm sick and old

may the fences stay intact
and no breaks appear
may all the lambs stay inside
at least one day a year
and may all the flying pigs
have perfect landing gear