When old grumpy goes to town
I can't help but wonder
if all the traffic wardens
are trying to steal his thunder
with a cut in winter fuel allowance
it is a colossal blunder
the shops flood with music
a cacophony of sound
anything that could hold a tune
nowhere to be found
at the end of the hideous noise
the bugger is rewound
of course its time for presents
a time for seasonal toys
there'll be hand guns for the girls
and repeating riffles for the boys
which means bullets in primary schools
and security guards employs
off to spend the gift cards
from cards that lit the fire
loaded the shopping trolley
with Chinese crap so dire
but never read terms and conditions
and the date they all expire
grumpy out of pocket
and really in a mood
at least its a festival
so bound to be good food
offered canapés and vol-au-vent
how could they be so rude
