a question of 'orns

The agricultural college agreed
To allow the field trip to proceed
The farm to visit chosen at random
Farmer Brown was sent a memorandum


.Students arrived full of good cheer
Some I admit still worse for beer
In their smart trainers and anorak
With designer labels on the back


Farmer Brown not use to talking
Mumbled and pointed while he was walking
The students were such learned folk
At his lack of science they had to joke


They questioned him on expected yield
Fertility ratios of the field
Bacteria build up and worm rotation
And of Penicillin resistance formation


The students now given the head
Paid little attention to what Brown said
The field trip becoming grim and dreary
Talking to the arrogant of theory

To engage in conversation denied
The helpful student questions tried
Said one student can you tell to me
Why that cow has no horn that I can see

Said Brown with a twinkling eye
‘orns is ‘ard subject, but I’ll try
Some cows ‘as ‘orns that grow out
So they can waggle um about

Some ‘as ‘orns that go right you know
Some go left and some won’t grow
Some has ‘orns of different size
Some up some down towards their eyes

Some ‘orns are thick some are thin
Explanations I’ll not know where to begin
That ‘orn less cow I know of course
‘Cos that cow’s me bloody ‘orse