the farmers wife

The farmers wife is cleaning

that will come as no surprise

the mess caused by the farmer

doesn't register in his eyes

the tramping of clarty boots

that should be left outside

walks the recent hovered rug

with arrogance and pride

each day the constant battle

to separate and retain

a sanctum of tranquillity

far from the farms' domain

she logs in all the income

a piffling small amount

notes in horror the outgoings

from the farm account

she visits the local surgery

in confidence to discuss

a malfunction of some organ

but doesn't make a fuss

a phone call to the daughter

listening to her woe

of the city life an mounting debt

a wrong time to let her know

it's lambing and she is needed

her hands petite and thin

to grab the legs and shift the head

of lambs stuck within

she wonders if they will notice

the passing of her life

and can the farm continue

without the farmers wife

a day at the mart

Hill Farmer George in a rush

Stopped to say hello

"Nice to see you crofter

But I really have to go

Lambs in the auction mart

I seem to have some luck

But there is a line of creditors

That I will have to duck

.

The corn merchant is first in line

A man I really hate

Only half the certified seed

Managed to germinate

For the agricultural mechanic

The payment's in the mail

Machines that work fine all year

But at harvest time they fail

.

I must avoid the agrochemical rep

With his weed free land proposal

All the chemicals are now dangerous

And I pay for their disposal

Pass my regards as you pass

To the man from the ministry

That pay corporate landowners

And gives bugger all to me

.

"You’ll be off to the bank manager

To deposit before withdrawal?"

"He’s the one I try to avoid

The biggest crook of all

He extends the overdraft

When things are all plain sailing

Then doubles the interest rate

To keep me on the cusp of failing"

.

Off to the mart canteen

To enjoy a well earned snack

To buy a bacon sandwich

With Danish on the back

Every where I look

I see food that’s been imported

Poor farmer George will stay poor

Till cheap imports have been sorted

for you my son

lying on his deathbed
he calls for his son
I leave everything to you
you know what must be done
the son looked fondly at his dad
not knowing what to say
from now life would be serious
gone are days of play

gone are the fleeting windows
when you are debt free
gone are the days so idle
of leisure activity
gone are days of fancy cars
and friends that call for tea
to live life like a hermit
in abject poverty

he didn't much like livestock
cows, sheep or horse
so why can't he just sell up
or turn into a golf course
he hears the young lamb bleating
a bottle must be due
a cow is stuck in calving
that needs help to pull through

there is poultry at the back door
trying to get in
the seed corn is delivered
so ploughing must begin
he knows now the carefree youth
and money has sadly gone
scrabbling in the boot rack
to put his wellies on

Halloween hotel

Driving on a country road

on all hallows night

the darkest cloud came overhead

blocking out the light

the rain it fell in torrents

with lightning and thunder roar

up ahead a welcome sign

above a hotel door

I booked into a single room

it had an eerie smell

it hadn't been used for many years

as far as I could tell

but it was just for one night

what trouble could there be

unlike the violence of the city

from drug crazed humanity

outside the creatures of the night

gave out their mournful cry

as I reached for a bath towel

for my face and hair to dry

then all the lights went out

and darkness did befall

I pulled back the curtains

to let the moon light up the wall

in the eerie moonlight glow

strange shadows I could see

as it a flock of evil bats

were coming after me

a howling of a large dog

a horseman galloping by

soft muffled whispering

laboured fearful sigh

there was tapping at my window

a rattling of the door

ghostly bat like shadows

fluttering on the floor

beneath the wooden entrance door

a light begun to glow

and foot steps on the landing stairs

whom I did not know

then came the tapping on the door

the rattling of the key

the door creaking started to open

slowly in front of me

the night porter stood there

an oil lamp in his hand

he said there was a power cut

some lighting would be grand

the kitchen has an old coal range

and it has been lit

so there will be some hot food to have

if you could wait a bit

I thanked him most profusely

and as he closed the door

I noticed he made no shadow

to fall upon the floor

serfvice

I've waited and I've waited

for the parcel due

so phoned customer services

as advised to do

listening to music that once

had a tune or two

I've pressed all the buttons

that they told me to




so I sent them an email

about the serfvice that they lack

and promptly I received a email

in capitals and black

thanking me for the email

Although my spelling was slack

there is no F in service

they sent back to me

precisely that's my complaint

on that we can agree