Christmas on the croft

t's Christmas on the croft
the family gather round
to look in awe at the luxuries
that the Pound shop has found

the bird is tough on carving
impossible to chew
it should of hung for another week
or made into stew

the pudding needs some cheap brandy
but there isn't any
so they've raided your secret hoard
and smothered it in Remy

board games for the afternoon
Monopoly takes the air
accusing eyes look scornfully
as you promised not to swear

Chocolates do the rounds again
Your favourites can't be seen
you're not fond of drinking coffee
so must love coffee cream?

from the byre is bleating
goat milking must be done
as you rush out for its sanctuary
to escape all the Christmas fun

silence descends on the family
suddenly they are board
you promise to enjoy this Christmas
as you'll spend all the rest abroad

farming year full of woe

The farming year is full of woe

With setback and reverse

You can’t afford the ills we have

Now comes blue tongue curse

The DEFRA yearly survey

That tumbles through the door

You see your well tended stock

is less than the year before

Chickens scratching up the land

Treasure seeking lot

Very few now lay an egg

And too thin for the pot

Poultry is a mugs game

But one day could be a winner

When Delia does a recipe

For roast fox Christmas dinner

cheese

The emperor was told that he had the world's finest cheese in his empire.


He called for the Chamberlain and told him to get some.
The Chamberlain went to the wise man.
The wise man told him a man called Huo made the best cheese in the empire and he lived somewhere up north in a remote hill top farm.
Next day the chamberlain set off to find the cheese ,with a large sack of gold, and something to bring the cheese back in.
After months of travel he found the village, and the head man said he would lead him to Huo's farm.


After a short formal greeting the Chamberlain asked to buy some cheese. Huo said he had no cheese for sale. Did he have any cheese? Huo said he had, but it was not for sale. He only made cheese for friends, and family, for special occasions. The cheese he has is for his grand daughters twelfth birthday. The chamberlain said he will buy the cheese and offered a quarter of the gold he was given. Huo refused to sell.
The Chamberlain said the cheese was for the Emperor, that rules the whole of the empire, including Huo's farm. If he would not sell then they would take the cheese, Huo's farm, and kill his livestock.
Huo gave him the cheese. The Chamberlain offered to pay him for it, but Huo refused the gold , saying he never dealt with thieves, even imperial ones.


The Chamberlain put the cheese in a red silk bag. The bag had Gold cord drawstrings and the imperial crest in gold. He placed the bag in a solid gold box, encrusted of rubies and emeralds. The box was placed in an ebony and ivory carrying case, and this was placed in a teak carriage trunk.


On the way back to the Emperor, the Chamberlain had the teak trunk engraved with depictions of his epic journey. which did not show where Huo's farm was, or the hills around the village.


The Emperor thanked the Chamberlain and said he would reward him in the morning.
That night the Chamberlain died, from a fever he encountered on his epic trip. The Chamberlain had no close next of kin, so all the money he stole from the Emperor was returned to the treasury.


The Emperor wanted to taste the cheese but if he ate it, he would no longer own the tastiest cheese in the world. He had the travelling trunk, ebony and ivory carrying case, the gold jewel encrusted box, and the cheese in a silk bag walled up in a cave behind the waterfall. The Cheese continued to decay and rot.


Huo made another cheese for the birthday. All the village, friends, family, and loved ones were invited to the grand daughters twelfth birthday party. When the granddaughter was born she was a sickly child. The physician said she would not live long enough to celebrate a twelfth birthday.


Huo divided the cheese up equally so all would have a piece. He placed the portions in bamboo leafed baskets and handed them every one.
They were told to smell the cheese. The aroma of the cheese mingled with the blossoms and flowers of the garden. It smelt divine.
They were told to listen. The sound of the birds and bees filled their ears and aided memory.
They were told to look about them. They soaked up the beauty of the garden, the smiling faces of Huo and his family, and the bright healthy eyes of the granddaughter.
Then they were told to eat. They ate the finest most exquisite cheese they had ever tasted.


It is not the meal that matters but who you share it with. Merry Christmas

Small is beautiful impressions of Fritz Schumacher