Christmas on the croft

t's Christmas on the croft
the family gather round
to look in awe at the luxuries
that the Pound shop has found

the bird is tough on carving
impossible to chew
it should of hung for another week
or made into stew

the pudding needs some cheap brandy
but there isn't any
so they've raided your secret hoard
and smothered it in Remy

board games for the afternoon
Monopoly takes the air
accusing eyes look scornfully
as you promised not to swear

Chocolates do the rounds again
Your favourites can't be seen
you're not fond of drinking coffee
so must love coffee cream?

from the byre is bleating
goat milking must be done
as you rush out for its sanctuary
to escape all the Christmas fun

silence descends on the family
suddenly they are board
you promise to enjoy this Christmas
as you'll spend all the rest abroad