supermarket song

Off to the supermarket

as its getting late

try to pick a bargain

while the brand match is in date

looking down the fresh meat isle

for quail and venison joints

a meat I never get to eat

but has triple nectar points

Buy one, buy two

get the third fecker free

there's no such thing as a bargain

with brand match guarantee

at the fresh fish counter

try something new it says

some halibut or caviare

that's been there for days

they’ll skin it and behead it

it won't take a jiffy

so you can leave the counter smiling

with basket very niffy

Buy one, buy two

get the third fecker free

there's no such thing as a bargain

with brand match guarantee

at the canned food counter

some labels have come loose

so it's ten pence for a brace of cans

of either apple sauce or goose

the aim is to cut the cost

and keep affordable the bill

the cans may be of dog food

but the bargain is the thrill

Buy one, buy two

get the third fecker free

there's no such thing as a bargain

with brand match guarantee

 

at the checkout conveyor

disposable bags are thrown

as cheap skate fecking men

never bring there fecking own

your face is turning scarlet

embarrassment her plan

the bags easy for women to open

are designed and made by a man

Buy one, buy two

get the third fecker free

there's no such thing as a bargain

with brand match guarantee

the nectar card is swiped

you hand tokens and you wait

as she shakes her head dismissively

as they're all out of date

you've spent over seventy pounds

more than you wanted to

but you've brand match for a penny

and triple nectar points are due

Buy one, buy two

get the third fecker free

there's no such thing as a bargain

with brand match guarantee