farmers holiday

Farmers don't have holidays
I think most people knew
After 30 years without one
farmer George thought he was due


where to go he wondered
throwing darts at a map
But trying to get to Timbuktu
would stress an enterprising chap


Timbuktu Has had a drought
for twenty years or more
so with imminent global warming
those folk should know the score


George found a cheap flight
the terms seemed quite severe
it wouldn't allow cows on board
nor sheep, goats, or deer


as for his trusty sheep dog
they seemed a tad unkind
the only way that he could fly
was if George went blind


packed up his clothes in a feed bag
of fifty shades of green
hanging outside he hung wellies
never have they been so clean


stopped at check in security
for committing a crime
in the deep recess of is pockets
his knife and some baler twine


luggage search to destruction
secreted and hidden away
fencing pliers, staples and split pins
foot shears and purple spray


fourteen days of interrogation
hoping that he will tell
the members and the accomplices
of his murderous terrorist cell


released to care in the community
to his croft in mud and more rain
to rip up his holiday brochures
he won't try a holiday again